Flying

For those of you who don't know, both Will and Cecilia are card-carrying members of Club Fly By The Seat of Your Pants. They put the pro in procrastination. In the dictionary under "last minute" is a picture of this smiling couple. They both freely admit it works for them with very few hiccups. [Enter wedding details, stage left.]

For the past three weeks or so, Dora's best friend Nara has been rallying the troops to nail down details concerning Cecilia and Will's wedding on April 28th. From Texas, the intendeds secured the venue in 2011, which was good.  From America came: bridal gown, shoes, veil and garter for C; suits, ties, shoes for groom and son--check! Check and check! Then came the move to Brasil, thirteen hoops to jump through for their civil wedding ceremony in January, and a million miles of red tape to endure for Will's permanent residency status. Throw in the final 2 trimesters of pregnancy, Daniel's arrival by C-section, Cecilia's recovery, and 48-hour-a-day life with baby;  and it's now little more than a month before Cecilia and Will's church nuptials.

Dora's friend Nara and I belong to a different organization--The Sisterhood of Get It Done Yesterday. (Mine is the OCD chapter with plenty of colorful pens and Post-It notes. Want to join?) Three weeks ago, Nara pressed Dora to find her mother-of-the-bride dress, and there have been excursions to locate a skirt just the right shade of 'wine' to go with a pretty beaded top.  Maybe a seamstress could make the skirt?  Even though it's now too late to secure a dressmaker, it will all come together.  Dora assures us.

Now that Dora's attire is settled upon, the Gringa is free to find appropriate MOG attire.  Let me share wisdom from Steve's mom Joy when Steve and I married nearly 40 years ago. "I like being the mother of the groom. All I need to do is wear beige and be quiet!"  Even though I probably won't be in beige, I'm not very chatty in Portuguese. I like being the mother of the groom, too.  And I like shopping.  Great when a plan comes together.

But I digress, as usual.  There are other wedding details to settle that matter more than the garb of the benchwarmers.  Music, flowers and decorations at the church, the bouquet, . . . oh, and the invitations!  The reception/party was planned quickly and efficiently by Cecilia's mother and two aunts:  food, drinks, decorations, location, toilet paper . . . you know, all those really important things.  (You may chuckle, but come to the party and get stranded paperless in the banheiro--you won't care what color my dress is.)  With The Sisterhood of Get It Done Yesterday in high gear, Dora, Nara, and Cecilia had calls to make.

Dora called the secretary at the church reserved for the wedding, and was given a list of approved providers of floral decor and music.  Cecilia and Will envisioned a small ceremony in a beautiful spot with a few simple flowers and their favorite music played from an iPod playlist; but Dora was told that the family would not be able to provide any of these things.  So Dora began calling these florists.  The first, most highly recommended floral company was owned by--take a guess?--the church secretary.  The second florist was expensive at half the price.  Meanwhile Nara had been contacting musicians, and reported shocking quotes to Cecilia.  Then Dora found out from the half-priced florist that the chairs provided by the church were rickety, dingy, and rusty--did Dora want to consider renting chairs?  Or would she just prefer to rent chair covers?  Of course, there was a fee per chair.  The dollar signs started registering like a Texas gas pump.

Dora had flowers, Nara had music, and Cecilia had an assignment of her own.  She and Will are required by the Catholic Church to take a Curso de Noivos (a class for couples who are getting married in the Church).  Their venue required the course, but didn't offer it before their wedding.  So, on Wednesday, C called her parish church--Paroquia de Sao Judas Tadeu.  She was very warmly and genuinely received.  The Curso de Noivos was being held that weekend, and the deadline for registering was the next day.  The secretary was extremely helpful.  Yes, they could come--even with baby Daniel requiring MommyTime.  Yes, Will could definitely enroll, even though he's not Catholic.  C signed them up for the class.

With unsettling, unexpected fees for a ceremony at the first venue popping up like weekend umbrellas on Praia de Icarai, Cecilia and Will began to smell a rat about the same time I did.  This charming antique church with a knock-out view of Guanabara Bay had too many strings attached.  Serpentine tentacles, actually.  I started thinking about the way Jesus treated the money-changers in the temple.  They were there in God's house taking advantage of the people who had come to worship.  Worship required bringing an animal for the priests to sacrifice, so the vendors were there to provide what the worshipers needed, and they took the opportunity to make a killing of their own.  Jesus got righteously ticked, turned over the immoral vendors' booths, yelled at them, and forced them out of the church.  Cecilia and Will were considering their options.

After a clarifying discussion on Wednesday, Cecilia and Will determined that their wedding was to be about the sacrament of matrimony and not an event--a marriage, not an elaborate show; and they resolved not to play the hidden game required by their original venue.  All the details began to flow into place.  Sao Judas charged less than half the fee for a wedding, which included a choice of musicians and music.  And, yes, you can certainly provide your own flowers and decorations.  (Just leave the nails, thumbtacks, and glue at home, please.)  And, would you believe--Saturday, April 28th is available in the morning!

So, on Thursday, March 22nd, with the date pencilled in on St. Jude's calendar, C took Daniel and me in a taxi to talk to the money changer--uh, church secretary--at the 17th century structure.  Cecilia used her American businesswoman's assertive presence to discuss cancellation of the wedding venue.  After much pussy-footing, cajoling, and attempts at persuasion, the secretary finally accepted the fact that C was not going to hold her wedding there.  And yes, madame secretary would 'talk to the priest' to see if it were possible to refund the deposit.

On the way back home, we stopped at St. Jude's to place the reservation for 10 AM, Saturday, April 28th, 2012 in permanent ink on their wedding calendar.  Did you know that St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes?  Sometimes God just shows off . . .......

Yesterday, Saturday March 24th, we four spent the afternoon at Paroquia de Sao Judas Tadeu.  Will and Cecilia were in their Curso de Noivos with at least a dozen other couples.  When Daniel didn't need a meal, he and I listened to choir rehearsals and attended a children's mass.  We talked to sincere, friendly, vital people.  We looked at beautiful modern stained glass and angular painted murals.  We enjoyed a guitar and voices echoing praises in the Mid-Century Modern sanctuary.  Daniel slept in my arms through his first church service--at peace, while I meditated on a larger-than-life crucifix above the altar and thought about the larger-than-life gift that God has given me--eternal life through Christ my Savior.  I thought about how I took Daniel's dad to church just the same way--wrapped in a blanket, with an extra diaper in the bag.

I must confess something.  I'm grateful for Club Fly By The Seat of Your Pants!  On Friday morning, Cecilia and I had a delightful time googling all the songs on the list available for their ceremony; she narrowed down the choices for Will to finalize with her. C and Dora are working on the details of the flowers. Hmm . . . wonder if it's possible to be a member of both organizations.  Maybe I'll just stick some Post-It notes to the seat of my pants.

Oh! The invitations? . . . .....................
Our new Dad, attentive Husband, website designing, EPub creating resident computer graphic designer is on it.  Soon.