His Twoness

Daniel just had his second birthday, but since he's so advanced   :~o   we've experienced waves of his Two-ness for quite a while now.  It started with a few good fits of frustration when a toy (or a person) wouldn't cooperate.  Then it was a very calm, polite "nono nonono."  Now, no matter what the question, the answer is immediate.  "No Quer." (Translation: "I don't want to/I don't want it.")
"Do you want to eat lunch now?"
"No Quer."
"Do you want to get a clean diaper?"
"No Quer."
"Do you want a cookie?"
"No Quer." That one always trips him up, and upon further thought, he changes his mind.

Limits and boundaries are really hard for on who's just realizing

• how big and awesome the world is, and
• how many things one can actually do and control.

Examples from DanielLand:

Food Wars
His Two-ness thinks:  I can feed myself quite independently now.  I know what I like.  No matter how much my people want me to eat, I can't be forced.
One night Will fixed pasta with Alfredo Sauce.  Pasta of any kind is usually a homerun--Mac 'n Cheese, noodles, elbows, rotinis, shells, bow ties.  Milk is always a hit.  And cheese?  Yum with no hesitation.  However (comma) . . . this night's conversation went something like this.
"Here's some pasta Daniel."
Pause  "No Quer."
"See?  It's pasta with a yummy sauce with milk and cheese in it."
Pause  "No Quer."  Pause "I want the orange pasta?"
"This is the orange pasta.  See?"
Pause  "I want the clean pasta."

Sent to the Principal
Cecilia picked up Daniel from Mother's Day Out one day and was greeted by his teacher, a stern-faced Ms. Charlotte.  Not only had he refused to nap, but the rebel had also become a disturbance for other compliant classmates when he wouldn't stay on his mat as instructed.  Ms. Charlotte reported that she had to remove Daniel from class to sit in the Director's office.  After embarrassing apologies to his teacher, Cecilia made a beeline to the office of Ms. Elaine, Director.  (BTW Daniel and Ms. Elaine are charter member of their own Mutual Admiration Society.)  Instead of detention, D had crayons, stickers, paper, and a pleasant hour of conversation.  Sometimes it pays to be non-compliant!

Choices
Looking back, there were times when I regretted naming Daniel's father Will.  Iron Will.  He was strong-willed with enough chunkiness by the time he turned two that I had to figure out alternate strategies to circumvent his Two-ness.  Either that or keep a good chiropractor on retainer for all the times I was lifting a contorting screamer into his carseat. We did actually have his hearing checked at one point, because I wanted to make sure we weren't dealing with what seemed an obvious deficit in communication.

Every Two likes choices, right?  So here's the choice, Will.  You're going to get in your carseat.  Do you want me to put you in, or do you want to do it yourself?  What Two doesn't want to do it himself?!

I'm using the same strategy with Little Man.
Face to face, in a calm assertive voice, I say, "Daniel, look at GiGi.  It's time to wash your hands for lunch.  Do you want to wash in GiGi's sink or Daniel's sink?"
Pause  Avoidance  I'll play with these cars while I consider . . . is this a trick question?
Again, I repeat the same question in the same way.
After another long pause, D answers in his signature question mode.  "GiGi's sink?"

And off we go, fit-free.

Time To Put the Toys Away
That little motivational song no longer works!

One day my buddy and I were tossing some stones on a path outside.  It was time to collect them and I invited Daniel to help.  After depositing one stone in the bucket, he sat down to observe all the apparent fun I was having.  I picked up "one, two, three rocks," and D leaned back on his hands. "Good job, GiGi!" he said with a cheery smile.

Cecilia told me that when it was time to pick up toys yesterday, she recruited Little Man to help.  She encouraged him to no avail.  In fact he climbed up on the couch to watch her work.  When she repeated her instructions, Two said, "Daniel sit on sofa.  Mamae clean."  (Here's where the choices were offered!)  Cecilia stated the options; (1) pick up the toys or (2) sit in the time-out chair.  The Smart Kid chose option #1.

PS--Bible Study teacher Beth Moore is certain that God created His most challenging children to be the cutest.  It's her theory that their sweet faces, chubby arms, and dimpled knees are God's protection.  After all, who could stay mad at all that cuteness?

 

PPS--And for the record, I never wished that Will would have one just like him.  I was too busy strategizing how to stay a step ahead.

 

Direct your children onto the right path,

and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Proverbs 22:6

New Living Translation

The Word of the Day Is . . .

Hi!  Ola!  It's me, Daniel.  I'm getting to be such a big boy now that I talk all the time.
 
I know my colors: ed, bue, ellow, purpa, pink, green, brown, gey.
 
I like to tell everyone about cars and kucks.  Ed car!  Bue kuck!  Ellow kuck!  Gey car!  Green bike!  Bike is anything with two or three wheels.  Airpane is up in the sky, and so is cot-ter.  Barco floats on the water.  Everyone needs to know these things.
 
I like to play outside with agua in the blue pool at GiGi and HeyYea's house.  There are lots of bird and some fowa (flower) and budda (butterfly) there too.  I see grass and green bush and tree.  And ant and bee.
 
I like to tell my people "xixi" when I pee in my diaper.  This makes them smile a little.  I also like to talk about who has boy parts like me, so I ask Mamae.  Papai?  Mamae says, "Papai ten."  Mamae?  Mamae no ten.  GiGi?  GiGi no ten.  HeyYea?  HeyYea ten.  This is important, right?
 
Book is one of my favorite things.  Mamae likes it when I read to her.  I like to sing Twinkle Twinkle and Baa Baa.  Aranha and Cai Cai Balao.  It's fun to dance too.  Whenever I see a T or a t, I call it twinkle.
 
Uh-Oh is one of my favorite new words.  Uh-Oh kacker! when my GiGi drops cookies on the floor.  Uh-Oh! when I see pieces of corn loose on the cob.  Uh-Oh spoon! Isn't that a cool word?!  
 
I know a lot about food and eating.  Spoon, cup, cool agua.  One day I surprised my GiGi when we were eating lunch together.  She picked up her cup to take a drink, and I was thinking really hard.  I said, "GiGi cool agua."  My GiGi was so excited.  I guess it's a big deal when someone says three words together.
 
But I like to talk about my favorite foods.  Banana and pasta are the only ones with just one name.  Everything else has two: apple/maca; orange/laranja; pineapple/abacaxi; strawberry/morango; bread/pao; juice/suco; cheese/queijo; rice/arroz.  Good!/Bom!  Mmmm!
 
There are lots of foods that I don't like right now.
 
I'll tell you a secret.  It's not really that I don't like foods, because Mamae and Papai cook good things.  It's just that I've discovered something very im. por. tant: I can say no!
 
I try to eat only my favorite things, but Mamae and Papai don't want to play by my rules.
 
I know so many words now, that I get all buzzy inside when my people don't understand what I want or when I don't have a word to tell them.  Sometimes they tell me no, even when I ask nice with "mais" and "peeze."  That makes me so mad and sad that I have to fall down on the floor like I'm wrestling with someone.  I growl.  I cry. I kick.  My people just stay all calm.  What's that all about?! 
 
I hear my people talk about the Terrible Two's--whatever that means.  My GiGi tells me I will be two in February, but I don't know what that means either.
 
I just know that I'm a big, big boy. Want to talk?